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3 Eylül 2012 Pazartesi

4 Tips to Increase eCommerce Product Video View Rates & Raise Conversions


Invodo recently did a three month study that looked into the efficacy of the video view rate, how it applies to ecommerce and why it is an important metric. Since a lot of readers have products to sell I thought it shed some light on some important facts that might be of interest to many of you. I'll combine their results, such as they are, with some of my own thoughts.
View Rate, VR, is the percentage of page impressions that generated a video view. One video view for every one hundred page hits is 1% VR. This is assuming that you don't autoplay your product videos, which I wouldn't recommend to begin with, not being a fan of video that automatically plays when I arrive at a page.
Now, in the Invodo research, they're drawing a direct line from view rate to conversion. However, the numbers here will most likely differ for every product and every company.

Methodology

Invodo, in their Watch this! 2012 report, reviewed video view rate data over a three month period between March 2012 and June 2012 from a wide range of our online retailer clients, including Sports Authority, Verizon, Moosejaw, Lenovo, and many more.
That's pretty sparse information on the process and, to me, means that there's going to be a lot of 'wiggle' room in these numbers. They don't give us specifics on all the possible variables encountered nor do they give us differences across products or companies or even video placement on the page aside from pre/post-fold.
However, it's still some interesting information that might help you optimize some of your product pages with video.

Put it Above the Fold

The Fold, is an old term from print advertising, referring to the immediately visible area of something, like a newspaper or website. For websites, it will clearly differ based on the resolution and window size of the browser or device.
Invodo states in the results that the view rate is 5.24% when the video is "above the fold" or in other terms, immediately viewable when the page loads. When it is below the fold there is a drop of almost 1.8% to a VR of 3.43%. That's pretty much two more video views per hundred pages and, if you find that the product video has an impact on conversion, could turn into a lot of revenue.
They used three resolutions for this assessment: 1366x768, 1024x768 and 1280x800. As a side note, I don't use any of them personally I use 1920x1080. According to Google Analytics, for ReelSEO the top three are: 1024x768 (38%), 1280x800 and 1336x768. For GDN it is 1366x768 (13%), 1024x768 (11%), 1920X1080 (10.9%) and 1280x800 (10.2%).
So you can see that site to site, this will vary wildly. The key to putting your video pre-fold is to look at your stats and find the lowest resolution that makes up a good portion of your audience and be sure that, when the page is viewed in that resolution, the video is viewable. For all intents and purposes, you could design for 1024x768 and probably be fine. According to W3Schools, in January 2012, 13% were at 1024x768 and 85% were at a higher resolution. That means just around 2% are below that. StatCounter.com states that around 80% or more might be using a resolution at or above 1024x768 as of July 2012.

Size Matters! When it's Your Call to Action

Another result they found in their research deals with the size of the call to action for your product videos. The bigger, the better. So a large "See the product in action!" as opposed to a small one could have a big impact on your view rate. Invodo drew a line in the digital sand at 5000 pixels, for example an image of 200x25 pixels or 150x34 pixels, etc.5100px1 4 Tips to Increase eCommerce Product Video View Rates & Raise Conversions So what does a 5000 pixel image look like? This, well, OK, this, is 5100 pixels. Their arbitrary line of 5000 pixels gave results of 4.07% versus 8.14% or, oddly, exactly twice as many views based on their rounding of the numbers.
By increasing the image around 50% I got 11,500 pixels and 11500px 4 Tips to Increase eCommerce Product Video View Rates & Raise Conversionsthat looks like this. Look at how small the text is on a 5000 pixel image. I might even say that 10,000 pixels should be the smallest your call to action should be, realistically. Invodo says make it big enough to attract the attention of the consumers. I say, make it big enough to be easily read, seen and ultimately, more effective. Other factors like color choices, images, etc. could also have an impact on how effective it is. So don't be afraid to do some testing with it all.

Better Yet, Use Text and Image for Call to Action

In my example above, I put text on my images. In the Invodo research, they say that using text along with an image seems to work wonders. I'm not sure if they meant use text in the image or separately. It sounds like they're saying use text and image. I suppose, for accessibility purposes, you might want to have a text call to action along with your image. Or at the very, very least, make sure that the title and alt text on the image clearly state the call to action as well. I might just do all of that.
invodo text cta 300x293 4 Tips to Increase eCommerce Product Video View Rates & Raise ConversionsThere were some drastic differences in the results they got for the word "video" versus the phrase "click to play." However, no text, did quite well in its own right. As you can see, just putting the word "video" had a fairly negative impact overall while even just a button with no text did better. Doing something like "click to play" or "Check out the product in action" would do wonders for the view rate. Use something that is both clear in what you want the consumer to do and in what the results of the action will be. Saying just "video" or "Click me" aren't going to work well and could be the difference between profit and loss.

Be Spartan in Your Approach

I'm a fan of minimalism and Spartan aesthetics and you should be as well, in the "Simple, frugal, or austere" sense of the word, not the "of or relating to Sparta or its citizens" sense.
When laying out those product pages, don't crush them under the weight of too many things for the consumer to be distracted by, says Invodo. However, their research also  shows that if you simply bombard then with options, that might work well also. This whole section of their research was focused on the main content pane and not the sidebars, headers or footers.
It seems that 6-10 elements in the main content window, are optimal and returned a fairly high VR of just under 6%. Meanwhile, pages with 21 or more elements also returned almost 6% oddly enough. The problem with the research is, we don't know what constituted the elements on each page. There is no mention of percentage for text, image and videos that were clickable on any of these pages.
So, my advice would be, keep it simple (I know you're not stupid). Put whatever information on the page that needs to be there to help the consumer make up their mind about the purchase or conversion. Don't bludgeon them with massive numbers of links, images, videos, etc.
That's not to say that you can't include an image gallery or several videos about a product. Just do it sparingly, as that seems to be ideal.

10 elements for a product page

  1. Video player (perhaps with an in-player playlist)
  2. Image gallery
  3. Buy Now!
  4. Add to Cart
  5. Add to Wishlist
  6. Product options (size, color, etc)
  7. Legal, technical or specific info (shipping, additional information, etc)
  8. Customer reviews or testimonials
  9. Alternative options (related products, similar products, etc)
  10. Look, I've got a spare! Put something helpful here.

That's a Wrap!

As with all research, you need to take it with a grain of salt. While these broad brush strokes may apply to a large cross-section of ecommerce, they might not apply directly to your site or products. Ideally, what these tips from Invodo and myelf might do, is give you a foundation to begin some testing with and see what has the best results for your specific products and pages. Ultimately, whatever works best for you, is best for you, regardless of what others do or what research says.
Gee, that's almost like a life lesson right there...


Weekly Online Video News Round Up


Another week is rapidly passing us by and once again I've collected all the news that didn't make it into an article here at ReelSEO. It's a diverse array of interesting stats, offerings and ideas.

Jivox Incentivizes Video Ads with MP3 Downloads

Jivox has a new interactive video ad unit called Maestro, which features a video ad with an incentivized music reward. Marrying Jivox’s multi-screen interactive video advertising technology with Music Interactive’s expansive musical library allows brands to associate with the pop culture of music, while increasing ad engagement and return on investment (ROI) .
Once the Jivox ad plays for a set duration, viewers will receive a free sponsored MP3 download from the vast Music Interactive library. This includes thousands of songs that play on any device and are neither tethered nor DRM-encoded, leaving consumers with a positive brand experience. The platform also intelligently sorts its vast music library to offer the most popular songs, which will appear at the top, each time the ad loads. The video ad and music reward are both self-contained within the ad unit, which strengthens the time spent with the brand. Music Interactive holds the relationships and music rights for songs listed.

Datalogix and BrightRoll offer DLX TV

With DLX TV integrated into the BrightRoll network as well as its exchange, advertisers can extend the reach of TV campaigns to viewers who have not seen specific ads and expand messaging frequency to target audiences effectively aligning TV and digital media plans. BrightRoll recognizes the benefits of complementing TV campaigns with a digital plan and works closely with advertisers to integrate the two.
Datalogix receives data from TiVo Research and Analytics (TRA), which anonymously captures viewing data across 4.2 million U.S. household set-top box devices. Datalogix builds a consumer-viewing model, applies the resutling segmentation to its anonymous online audience and makes this audience available to media partners such as BrightRoll.

Tout Powers Wall Street Journal Video Newsgathering

Launching in conjunction with the start of the Republican National Convention this week in Tampa, Fla., WSJ WorldStream is the latest addition to WSJ Live, the Journal's video initiative, which has launched four new shows in the past year from New York, London, Hong Kong, and Washington, DC.
WSJ WorldStream is powered by San Francisco-based Tout.com, and it’s available on WSJ.com and as a free web app.

New York Times Relaunches Online Video

The New York Times has relaunched its online video platform at NYTimes.com, with a new design, larger player and improved navigation. The revamped platform is designed to be compatible with multiple operating systems and devices, including the Web, smartphones and tablets.
The NYT’s mobile apps have also had their video components upgraded.
Under the new system, videos are organized into channel pages based on their subjects, with categories including News/TimesCast, editor’s choice, world, U.S., business, science, opinion, arts, style, sports and “latest news." Top-of-page navigation tools are intended to make it easier to browse the archive.
Source: MediaPost

Netflix Deep in DVD Trouble? Offering Free Month to Streaming Subscribers

Netflix is quietly offering its 24 million streaming subscribers in the United States a free month of disc rentals, the by-mail packaged media rental pioneer disclosed in a company blog.
The company is also offering its 2.5 million disc-only subs a free month of streaming. Both offers are part of tweaks to the service’s billing statement that went into effect Aug. 23.
Source: Home Media mag

Mutli-Channel Loses Ground in Q2 2012, Still Gaining?

Leichtman reported that around 540,000 video subscribers were lost in Q2 2012 by the top nine cable companies, compared to 600K the year before. Satellite lost 62,000 compared to 109,000 the year before. Most of that, 52,000 was DirecTV. Probably due to their fight with Viacom?
Overall, losses are slightly over the year before. When telephone companies are added in (FIOS and U-Verse) they mitigated a good amount of losses. Q2 2012 saw 325,710 losses, versus Q2 2011 which was 324,403.
Multi-channel Video ProviderSubscribers at End of Q2 2012Net Adds in Q2 2012Net Adds in Q2 2011
Cable Companies
Comcast22,118,000(176,000)(238,000)
Time Warner^12,484,000(169,000)(141,600)
Charter4,269,000(72,000)(83,000)
Cablevision3,257,0000(23,000)
Suddenlink1,230,100(20,100)(24,400)
Mediacom1,037,000(22,000)(36,000)
Cable ONE612,729(9,6100)(10,403)
Other Major Private Cable Companies*7,060,000(70,000)(45,000)
Total Top Cable52,067,829(538,710)(601,403)
Satellite TV Companies (DBS)
DirecTV19,914,000(52,000)26,000
Dish Network14,061,000(10,000)(135,000)
Total Top DBS33,975,000(62,000)(109,000)
Telephone Companies
Verizon FIOS4,473,000120,000184,000
AT&T U-verse4,146,000155,000202,000
Total Top Phone8,619,000275,000386,000
Total Multi-channel Video94,661,829(325,710)(324,403)
Sources: The Companies and Leichtman Research Group, Inc.
* Includes LRG estimates for Cox and Bright House Networks
^ Total includes estimates for Time Warner Cable's acquisition of Insight
Net additions reflect pro forma results from system sales and acquisitions
Top multi-channel video providers represent approximately 94% of all subscribers
Top cable companies do not include WOW's acquisition of Knology completed in July
Company subscriber counts may not solely represent residential households
Note that LRG consumer research finds that about 1% of households subscribe to both cable and DBS

LG Expands Connected Device Offerings

LG Electronics is debuting the LG Optimus G smartphone, which has a Snapdragon S4 Pro APQ8064 processor and a True HD IPS+ display. The company is also introducing the TM2792 Personal Smart TV with Cinema 3D and LG Smart TV capabilities. In addition, LG's Game World will offer games as applications for its Smart TVs.

Colleen Zenk Joins Original Web Series Thurston

Saytime Emmy winner Colleen Zenk (who starred as Barbara Ryan for 32 years on CBS As The World Turns) is joining our western series THURSTON in season 2 over at SFN.

California Heaven Gets Interactive On The SFN Network

Launched in the summer of 2006, California Heaven is the longest-running, original scripted online soap in web history with over 100 produced episodes filled with gorgeous bodies, sinister subplots and plenty of family drama.   And now it's about to get interactive.
Created by Stewart St. John and Todd Fisher and airing exclusively on their online television network The SFN (http://www.sfntv.com), the team has introduced a new  component to compliment the series: beginning immediately, visitors to the site can submit questions, via an online form, to the soap's mysterious oracle character "Shine" -- and check back later to watch her video response.

Adobe Pass 2.0 Coming Soon

Adobe extends its position as the leading authentication technology for the broadcast and cable industry, announcing Adobe Pass 2.0, with innovative capabilities that advance the success of TV Everywhere: reach across all platforms, seamless consumer experience, and TV-level scale. Adobe 2.0 was  successfully tested and showcased during the London Games and is expected to drive mainstream adoption of TV Everywhere for day-to-day content consumption across devices. New features include:
  • Auto-Authentication: Support for Auto-Authentication in Adobe Pass 2.0 enables automatic recognition and authentication of customers, who receive both their TV and Internet service from the same provider, based on their IP or MAC address. The feature, which makes the authentication process much more easy and seamless, was used by Comcast and Cablevision during the London Games and saw an authentication success rate that was 23 percent higher than pay TV operators that didn’t take advantage of the capability.
  •  Free Preview: The new Free Preview feature offers consumers temporary access to premium TV content online for a pre-determined amount of time. The feature ensures that consumers have instant access to TV content without having to wait until the user credentials are verified.
  • Server side API: Coming this fall, Adobe Pass will make it even easier for programmers to support a broad range of devices via a clientless implementation. This new server side API enables content providers to integrate authentication within native applications ensuring faster time-to-market and allowing customers to expand the reach of TV Everywhere to the broadest possible audience.

 DailyMotion Gives Site a FaceLift

Following up on Hulu and Netflix finishing big refreshes of their pages and players, DailyMotion has done one as well.
The brand new layouts transform the way Dailymotion viewers consume video by offering:
  • Endless, uninterrupted and immediate video playback from each homepage design with no in-stream or pre-roll advertising (during beta phases of launch, post-launch TBD)
  • Customizable, real-time updated video recommendations fully personalized to each viewer’s selected channels and genres
  • Social integration with Facebook’s Open Graph and Timeline features through the Dailymotion plug-in to instantly share videos with friends and family; Twitter as well
  • Engaging, stylized layouts designed to optimize the video experience, increase viewership and overall duration & enjoyment of online viewing
  • The new Dailymotion homepage offers two different layouts – mosaic style and feed style.
    o Mosaic style displays a “Pinterest” style collage of videos arranged in an endless cascade of large and small previews.
    o Feed style displays video in a list of top-picks that scrolls infinitely.
  • Every Dailymotion user can customize their homepage view in either layout tailored to their personal tastes, favorite genres and social viewing habits
  • Feed-style view maintains Dailymotion’s “Most viewed” and “What’s Hot” trending lists
  • Content for the homepage is curated by the site’s editorial team, then accordingly personalized for each individual viewer based on their category selections and viewing patterns
  • All in-stream advertising on the homepage has been removed, allowing for on-demand playback of clips without interruption; this will be maintained in the beta-testing phase
  • The site will roll out in metered releases for full release by the end of September
  • Videos play within enlarged previews in both layouts, but the original source page and user channel can still be accessed by simply clicking on the title or creator link
  • Both layouts are designed to maximize user enjoyment, transform the experience of watching online video and increase length of viewership with an engaging and uninterrupted playback functionality

Google Shuts Down TV Ads Service

Our goal is to provide all our customers with the best digital marketing opportunities. In 2007, we launched Google TV Ads in AdWords to bring digital buying and measurement technologies to traditional TV advertising. Since then, lots of our clients have bought traditional TV advertising for the first time.
However, video is increasingly going digital and users are now watching across numerous devices. So we’ve made the hard decision to close our TV Ads product over the next few months and move the team to other areas at Google. We’ll be doubling down on video solutions for our clients (like YouTube, AdWords for Video, and ad serving tools for web video publishers). We also see opportunities to help users access web content on their TV screens, through products like Google TV.
Of course we'll continue to support our partners, and our clients’ campaigns, as we shut the product down.
Thanks to all our clients, partners and the team that has worked on Google TV Ads over the past few years. The future of video advertising is extremely bright and we’re excited to devote ourselves fully to it.
Posted by Shishir Mehrotra


TURKISH IS ENOUGH FOR US


Not only in these days, but also in the past, a country’s development level have been depend on its  level of education which is defined by Crawley and Ashby as teaching  somebody about things like reading, writing and mathematics at school or college  (1994, p. 106). In Turkey, after students finish high school, they start university where they learn their jobs efficiently.  During university years, youngs develop themselves and learn what they want. When this feature of universities’ is thought, there appear two types of schools. While students get their whole education in English in one of them, students get their education in their native language, Turkish, in other type. A result can be clearly seen that students should not be forced to study their departments in English in Turkey because of negative effects of English based education.
 Using English as instruction language in Turkey can help students to understand and write academic essays in English for their departments. That is, when they use English in their department continuously, they know English as Turkish too. However, when they do not write any essays in Turkish, Turkey may not achieve academic successes as students write their essays, reports, summaries and outlines in English while they think in Turkish. Not using Turkish in department lessons, they may forget grammar and basic concepts of Turkish and lose their ability of producing Turkish literatures.
Taking education in English forms different problems for university students.  The first problem for students is that they may lose their important senses due to their education language. They may lose their not only personal senses such that learning passion or self-confidence, but also their academic senses such that criticism or command abilities during their education life. When they get their subjects in English, they must do two difficult jobs simultaneously. While they listen and translate the topic which their instructor tell them, they should be able to understand what are the main points of the subject and where they should pay attention. As a result of this, they lose their passion for learning the subject. Moreover, they may lose their self-confidence since they may not follow the topic efficiently. That is, they may lose their attention to subject in lesson then they may not be able to catch the lecture again which can make them demoralized. For this reason, they can think that they would not pass the exam ad would fail it. Students may lose their valid academic senses due to their lecture language. In other words, they may not criticize the topic efficiently while they use English in their lecture hours continuously. As when one lose a main point of the topic, s/he may miss whole valid points of topic. Analyzing and criticizing abilities are born with command ability which makes the lessons more understandable for students.  Lack command ability may make a student be failed. “ Our clever students are lack of analyzing, commanding and criticizing abilities for Math, Physic or Chemistry lessons which need to command, criticism and analyses. “ (Demirören, 2002, p.1)
The second problem due to their education language is that students cannot learn easily and clearly their department courses .While  students sometimes cannot learn some courses in their native languages how can they learn them in English ? Demirören supports my observation in his thesis. In summary, he says that students only want to pass their exams with high grades so they do not try to take the main points of the lesson, which makes them with poor education. (2002, p.1)  One can learn a job’s basic elements and develop new things about her/his job if s/he gets education in her/his native language as people should know native terms of their jobs’ but also English versions.  Sinanoğlu thinks that a student can develop himself in his job and career life safely if he gets his education in his own language. (2006, p.12) Students may get English courses in their free times such as summer holidays or after lecture hours.
In conclusion, while English Based Education may help students in some ways, it has negative effects on students more. Due to its privative effects on students’ basic senses and learning process, English should not be the medium instruction language in Turkish universities.  Despite these applications, students should be oriented for applying language courses in summer holidays not in university education as obligatory. Not only its grammar, but also its meaningful structure, Turkish is enough for a Turkish student in Turkey.

Geoege Potter

It was rather surprising to discover a deep vein of sentiment in little Geoege Potter I had been his fried and his lawyer for many years and had watch the always fat and once alert little man settle in to a domestic routine He had been moderately succesfull in business, sufficiently succesfull to permit him to retire from business and to trawel about the world a little if he had wanted to do so But instead he and Esther were content to sit night after night in their pleasant living room; she was busy with her sewing or reading, he passing the time with his excellent collection of postage stamps
Looking back over the years of my friendship with Potter , I can see that the vein of romance had probably been there all the time there was, for instance, his very romantic lowe-affair with Althea Deane – an affair which almost became a scandal But just when peole began to gossip about them, George married her
That marriage appeared to estinguish George Potter’s last spark of romanticism It never had a change to be succesfull, and when Althea left him suddenly, George’s friend thougt that he was fortunate to lose her Lare came the news of Althea’S death while living abroad, and a couple years of later George began to call up on Esther seriously The people of our group were only slightly interested- it is dificult to become gereatly excited over a possible mariage when both the man and the woman are equally rather dull and uninteresting
The marriage was a very nice affair There followed the usual series of the parties for the newly maried couple then it seemed George and Esther retired from life Even his business affairs ran so well that there was little need on George’s part for my sevices as his lawyer- and when I never ceased to like him, we found less and less incommon as the years passed

I couldn’t imagine that they were happy There wasn’t eough sentiment - that’s the way I figured ut George And nothing happened to change my oppinion until a few weeks before their twenty-fifth aniversery
It was then that he came into my office , his fat little face shining with enthusiasm, and told me his unusual plans for the silver anniversary His bright little eyes shone as he axplain the thing, and I’ll confes that I was prwtty well confused; not alone because his plan was sentimental and profoundly impressive, but mainly because it was quiet , dull, old George Potter who was planning this thing – the George Potter who had lived a quiet life since his second marriage and who had avoided social contacts
According to waht George told me, he was doing this things for Esther’s shake “It’ll please her “ he explained“ Woman like that sort of thing, you know- and this seems to me a real idea You have to be part of it, because you were to be a best man when Iand Esther were maried It’s just a gesture on my part- a sort of sacrifice to please the old lady “
I’ll say this for George, he didn’t do things halfway Instead of the usual part, he presented a perfect duplication of his mariage to Esther twenty- five years before there was even the same minister – very old now- and the same violenist who had played “ Oh promise me at the other ceremony A good many of the oreginal guest were there Most of us rather gray haired now But the thing was very impressive: Esther in the same bridal dress she had worn twenty – five year before- let out around the hips perhaps – and carrying a bouqued of bride roses, the bridesmaids in pink, with boughed of Killarney roses; even a person to carry the ring It was great fun and very impressive where one might have expected it to be absurd

As for Esther, I never saw a woman look more beautiful she took on a aura of genuine beauty Of course she would have been lest then human and far from feminine to have failed to responed to this magneficent exhibition of husbandly devotion
But finally the ceremony was finished and the guests went to the dining room for the rich supper which had benn prepared by special cooks employed for this occasion George and I were left alone and he sang exhousted into a chair I placed my hand on his shoulder and congratulated him on the success of his party
“You really think it was a success?“
“Wonderful! And,“ jockingly,“ you certainly should feel completely married “
“Yes, I do“ He became silent for a moment or two, and when he spoke again it was in a deeply serious tone“ There is something I have got to explain to you as my friend and my lawyer” He stopped for a second, then asked suddenly:’’You remember my first wife?’’
‘’Althea?“ I was surprised by the question“ Certainly“
“ Did you know , “ he went on in a strange voice , “ that she died only last year ? “
“Good Lord! I thought she died twenty-seven years ago “
“So did I,“ he said quitely “ And when I married Esther , I thought I was a widower But I wasn’t – and in case anything ever comes up – well, I want you to understand that affair tonight was a real wedding for Esther and me“

101 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Wal-mart


101 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Wal-mart

This is just a little game to play. List ways get kicked out of wal-mart. Also, every fifty ways I'll post a funny video or Lolcat. Now, commence with the ways of getting kicked out.
NOTE: Please number your ways, or else I can't keep track
  1. Ask to get kicked out/banned
  2. Walk in wearing a chicken costume and harass people
  3. Walk up to any one in the store, and say "Your a wizard Harry."
  4. Stand up on a clerk counter and sing Freebird
  5. get a friend to stand on the clerk counter and sing a song while you chant "Freebird!"
  6. Run around nude?
  7. Bomb threat.
  8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
  9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
  10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
  11. Get several of those frogs (that croak when somebody walks by) from the Garden Dept. and place in strategic locations throughout store.
  12. Play with the automatic doors.
  13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long," etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
  14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"
  15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
  16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive.
  17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
  18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
  19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
  20. Put M&M's on layaway.
  21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
  22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
  23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
  24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
  25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"
  26. TP as much of the store as possible
  27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
  28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
  29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
  30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
  31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
  32. Take bets on the battle described above.
  33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
  34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
  35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!"
  36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
  37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
  38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
  39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
  40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
  41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
  42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
  43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
  44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics, while headbanging & playing air guitar to Willie Nelson demos. (Bonus: Braid hair & tie bandanna around head).
  45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
  46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
  47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
  48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
  49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
  50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
  51. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
  52. Turn on toys that make noise or talk at random intervals, and leave them in strategic locations.
  53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
  54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
  55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
  56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
  57. Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs. Barbies. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
  58. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
  59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
  60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
  61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
  62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
  63. Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your face, then stand next to him and copy whatever he says when customers walk in.
  64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
  65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."
  66. Try on every pair of shoes in the shoe department. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
  67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
  68. If you're female: Take some men's clothes to the mens fitting room and ask to try them on. Act shocked and insist "But I AM a man" if the attendant says anything. If you're a man, vice versa.
  69. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
  70. Lurk in the cosmetics department and spray people with a bottle of strong perfume as they walk by. Lean in and sniff the, then wave your hand in front of your nose and saying "P-eeew! That perfume stinks!"
  71. Plastic fake-vomit and fake-dog doo can be utilized effectively here.
  72. Go outside to the payphones, call the store and ask them to page customer "Mike Hunt" (or "Harry Butz", etc.)
  73. Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by which hemmorhoid remedy they prefer, then launch into a detailed description of your own problem.
  74. While you're doing that, have white-out & markers handy. Modify the boxes of "Anusol" by covering up the "OL" on the logo.
  75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.
  76. Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TV's to Young & the Restless, and watch while sobbing loudly.
  77. Chase your friends up and down aisles with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.
  78. Ride the little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if on a horse, act like a cowboy, etc. If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start crying.
  79. One word: STREAK!
  80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".
  81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.
  82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
  83. Walk up to the customer service and say "Hello, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries and a diet coke." Then go to Mc Donald's and try to return a toaster.
  84. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream and lice remedies are.
  85. When alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities".
  86. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
  87. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.
  88. Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving store. As you're walking through the doors act like you're expecting the alarms to go off. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as your can.
  89. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.
  90. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department.
  91. Put lingerie in the men's department.
  92. Put super sexy women's lingerie in old men's carts when they turn around.
  93. Stand in the sock aisle, and give each package a stern lecture.
  94. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light and say "blink" each time it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.
  95. Put condoms in the mannequin's hands, and cigarettes in their mouths.(Safety warning: Leave cigarettes unlit.)
  96. In the Garden Dept., skip through the flowers while holding your arms out and "buzzing".
  97. With friends, stage a "sit-in" in all the bean-bag chairs in Furniture Dept.
  98. Walk up to a guy and say "It's YOU!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" and kiss him, then say "Why didn't you ever call me?" and walk away. Much more effective if you're also a guy.
  99. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend to be a mannequin too. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible.
  100. Start singing oldies songs in the megaphone.
  101. Ask everyone in "Electronics" "Do you know what CD this song is on? I don't know the name but it goes like this:". Then sing loudly, and don't stop until somebody throws you out.
  102. Bark while trying on dog collars. Have a friend lead you around on a leash. Better yet, whinny while trying on horse tack and a friend holds the reins.

Why 2013 will be a year of crisis


Why 2013 will be a year of crisis


Rotting corn was damaged by severe drought on a farm near Bruceville, Indiana.
Rotting corn was damaged by severe drought on a farm near Bruceville, Indiana.
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
  • David Frum: The drought in the U.S., Russia and Australia is driving up food prices
  • He says sharp rises in prices have long been tied to unrest among the world's poor
  • High prices have been cited as a cause of last year's upheaval in Egypt and Tunisia, he says
  • Frum: The winner of November election in U.S. will have to deal with the consequences
Editor's note: David Frum is a contributing editor at Newsweek and The Daily Beast and a CNN contributor. He is the author of seven books, including a new novel, "Patriots."
(CNN) -- Prediction: 2013 will be a year of serious global crisis. That crisis is predictable, and in fact has already begun. It will inescapably confront the next president of the United States. Yet this emerging crisis got not a mention at the Republican National Convention in Tampa. We'll see if the Democrats do better.
The crisis originates in this summer's extreme weather. Almost 80% of the continental United States experienced drought conditions. Russia and Australia experienced drought as well.
The drought has ruined key crops. The corn harvest is expected to drop to the lowest level since 1995. In just July, prices for corn and wheat jumped about 25% each, prices for soybeans about 17%.


These higher grain prices will flow through to higher food prices. For consumers in developed countries, higher food prices are a burden -- but in almost all cases, a manageable burden.

Americans spend only about 10% of their after-tax incomes on food of all kinds, including restaurant meals and prepackaged foods. Surveys for Gallup find that the typical American family is spending one-third less on food today, adjusting for inflation, than in 1969.
But step outside the developed world, and the price of food suddenly becomes the single most important fact of human economic life. In poor countries, people typically spend half their incomes on food -- and by "food," they mean first and foremost bread.
When grain prices spiked in 2007-2008, bread riotsshook 30 countries across the developing world, from Haiti to Bangladesh, according to the Financial Times.   A drought in Russia in 2010 forced suspension of Russian grain exports that year and set in motion the so-called Arab spring.
Since the days of Gamal Abdel Nasser, the Egyptian government has provided subsidized bread to the population. A disk of round flat bread costs about a penny. In the later 2000s, however, the Mubarak government found it could not keep pace with surging grain costs.
As Egypt's population doubled from 20 million in 1950 to 40 million in 1980 and now more than 80 million, Egypt has gained first place as the world's largest wheat importer. The price rises of 2007-2010 exceeded the Mubarak government's resources. Cheap bread vanished from the stores. Discontent gathered. In the August 18 issue of the British magazine The Spectator, John R. Bradley, an Arabic-speaking journalist long resident in Egypt, described what happened next:
  "The conversations of tiny groups of Cairo's English-speaking elites, and their Western drinking companions, were a world apart from talk among the Egyptian masses. ... The main hope of those who poured into Tahrir Square was shared by the revolutionaries in Tunisia: that sudden and radical change would miraculously mean affordable food."
And if food prices surge again? China is especially vulnerable to food cost inflation. In just one month, July 2011, the cost of living jumped 6.5%. Inflation happily subsided over the course of 2012. Springtime hopes for a bumper U.S. grain crop in 2012 enabled the Chinese central bank to ease credit in the earlier part of the summer. Now the Chinese authorities will face some tough choices over what to do next.
The Arab Spring of 2011 is sometimes compared to the revolutions of 1848. That's apter than people realize: the "hungry '40s" were years of bad harvests across Europe. Hungry people are angry people, and angry people bring governments down.
Will 2013 bring us social turmoil in Brazil, strikes in China or revolution in Pakistan? The answer can probably be read in the price indexes of the commodities exchanges -- and it is anything but reassuring. 

Sportswear


Sportswear


An interesting commercial phenomenon of recent years is the way in which clothing apparel has copied sportswear. Hitherto, the wearing of tracksuits or jogging suits was confined to those practising sports. However partly because of the higher profile accorded to athletes and sports people via television, consumers began themselves to buy sports clothes for leisure wear. Research and investment by shoe companies, particularly  and, undoubtedly improved the quality of athletes’ footwear and introduced the running shoe or ‘trainer’. The companies used various new materials and technology to, for example, correct pronation and supination and to protect joints.
They also pruned their production costs by building factories in Asia and spent fortunes on sponsorship and advertising. As these shoes were both lightweight and comfortable, they became popular with consumers in general. This has meant that the sale of conventional leather shoes has declined, as that of sports shoes has risen. Sports clothing tends to be bought more by young males (47.8 percent); however, 27.9 percent of all adults bought trainers and 17.7 percent bought track suits in 1994. Even in the age group 55–64, 14.1 percent bought tracksuits (cloned briefly as ‘shell suits’). A feature of Britain’s supermarkets is the number of overweight people in trainers and jogging suits pushing shopping trolleys around the store as quickly as they can so they can get outside for a cigarette.
Formerly British clothes were discreet in terms of colours and attribution (a small label inside the collar at the rear). Clothes with logos displayed on the breast pocket of, shirts and pullovers then became popular. These included those of Fred Perry (tennis), Pringle (golf ), Ron Hill (running). A striking feature of the high street now is that much of the clothing that people wear is bright and has got large writing on it. That applies to general designer-wear such as Tommy Hilfiger or Helly Hansen, but this trend has come from sportswear where purchasers are practically walking advertising hoardings for: Nike, Umbro, Adidas, Asics, Fila and so on. The baseball cap is also becoming as universal in Britain as it is in the USA, though the influence here is partly sport, partly homage to America.